A few days ago, my son turned 18. This is the reason why I decided to start there. I was just 18 when I found out I was having him. At first I saw all my dreams shattered and the things I wanted to do flow away. I felt angry, scared, sad & disappointed. I wondered what people would say, what my mother would say, that worried me the most!! As she saw the life she never had in me. I let her down too. A lot to feel at the age of 18.
I remember staring out the window just after the doctor told me and having a conversation with myself. It went something like this, “You have made your bed now you have to make it work! This isn’t what you planned but you can’t make your child pay for it. Your dreams become our dreams. I becomes we, mine becomes ours. Life won’t be easy but it isn’t impossible, so make your child proud!”
This was my pep talk to myself. My life’s goal thereafter became to make him proud, so that when he’s 18 (which is now) he will say he is proud of me. As I reflect on the years that have passed, I may not have been perfect. I made some bad choices which I call lessons well learnt. I may not have been the best or had the best, but I always did my best and that is what counts.
I was very emotional this week as he turned 18 knowing that it was my life’s mission was to make him proud. I believe that i have done the best I could. I instilled good values in him and I know that where ever he goes or whatever he does, he has been empowered to make the choices that are right for him.
This is something I wrote to him. I hope it encourages a young mother to keep on keeping on.
“To my darling son, the Legal Eagle
I was exactly your age when I found out I was having you. 18 years old and having a baby!! I remember glaring out the window then and telling myself, that I had to be the Very Best version of Myself for you. My life’s goal was to make you proud so that when you are 18, you will say that you are proud of me!!
Today as I reflect on your life, how you have transitioned from a boy into a man. I couldn’t be more happier in who you have become. You thought me, that my greatest accomplishment and grandest title is being called, “Mom”.
I wanted to make you proud but today as I look at you, I couldn’t be more prouder!! You have exceeded all my expectations. You are an incredible young man, filled with love and compassion for others, determination and focus in your life & a young man after God’s Heart. What more could a mother ask?
Now that you are a Legal Eagle. Always remember:
Always put God first and everything else will fall into place.
Home is always home, no matter where you go and what you do.
There is nothing that we won’t do for you and although you may not be a child, you will always be my child!!
I love you my son, always & forever!!
I hope that in sharing my story with you, you have been encouraged.